Arlo Thomas Wilkinson 💙

On Wednesday 10th June I went into Calderdale Royal Hospital with a hospital bag just for me and a really heavy heart.

We were shown to our room where the midwife told us she'd be back with the first pessary and some things to take my obs with. We sat down in silence I cried, Timmy cried. 

The midwife came back into the room and I got into the bed at 10:45am i had an examination and had the tablet, she told me to lay down to make sure the tablet didn't come back out and we watched TV. At 12pm the contractions started they were really mild. As time went on they got worse and worse but I knew from past experiences it could still be a long time! Timmy managed to make me laugh and I decided at 2 the next time midwife came in I was going to ask for paracetamol and codeine.

2:50pm the midwife came back with the next tablet, pain relief and a blood test (yay) let me tell you having a blood test and contractions at the same time is no joke it was awful! I had the tablet and pain relief and the midwife left.

I laid on my left side to try get comfy and wait for the pain relief to kick in...at 3:25 the contractions got worse and I started to get pressure and then at 3:30pm my waters burst so I told Timmy to go get the midwife and tell her, as Timmy was going to the door out came our beautiful sleeping little boy 💔

The midwives came in and I explained what happened, they cut the cord and took Arlo to be cleaned up and cleaned me up and helped me to the toilet so I could pass the placenta... This was the hard part as it didn't want to pass🤦🏼‍♀️  I got back onto the bed as I felt dizzy and after a few pushes it was out.

The midwife then brought in my beautiful baby who looked so peaceful and just like his big brother! The midwife showed me his hygroma (which he would never of survived as it was too large) and showed me his talipes on his right leg 😞 we laughed as she said he "was definitely a boy" he was laid with his legs open and penis out just like how his brother sits with no nappy on 😂 and told me how beautiful he was. She then left us to it and we cried and I held his little fingers (they wrapped around my finger) and I enjoyed the time we had together 💙

We decided we wanted the hospital to cremate him and we'd collect his ashes as we didn't want to bring him home we wanted to keep him with the other babies. We are going to his funeral at the Chapel of peace and then will sprinkle his ashes where we haven't chosen yet!

I then decided after sitting with my beautiful boy for 3 hours I wanted to get out of there and see my big boy as I missed him and needed a cuddle from him! We said our goodbyes and left carrying a box with some photos in and the blanket he was laid on and a Teddy bear thay was the same of his. I felt distraught and heartbroken that other women were taking home babies whilst I took home a box of memories 💔

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